IoT in Flea Markets

Posted on: Monday, July 23rd, 2018

Everyone’s favourite acronym; IoT, the Internet of Things.

Now, add a sprinkle of human inventiveness, tongue firmly placed in cheek of course, and IoT may spring some surprises on to you. It did on me.

Curiosity piqued? Read on.

This happened a few months ago whilst unaccustomedly visiting a flea market. I was enticed to visit on the premise that I could come across a couple of discarded and therefore bargain-priced valve amplifiers I could either revive or scavenge parts from.

I traipsed and skipped over a plethora of junk (by my reckoning, at least) which would have made any dump proud, scanning the neighbouring mounds for that elusive audio vintage equipment.

My eye fell on a patch overseen by a guy uncannily similar to the one in the picture (you now know why this ‘IoT’ article got a close up of a statue for a visual). He did remind me of the Joker, albeit with half the latter‘s signature perpetual smile.

The patch was corralled by six little white panels each nailed to a foot long wooden pole driven into the ground, on which was scribbled a scraggy ‘IOT’. Each panel was facing outwards and placed approximately at the corner of an imaginary hexagon. Intrigued, I went over to examine the contents of the patch.

The guy turned his half perpetual smile towards me and raised the other half, regaling me with the Joker’s smile in all its glory.

I could see old locks, keys, some scratched 78rpm records, a beaten up His Masters Voice gramophone … but no IoT device in view.

“Hi, are you selling IoT devices, as I cannot see any?”, I curiously enquired.

“Oi, what devices you asking for, mate?”, Joker-man asked me with a bemused look on his face. I think he thought me a tad off the rocker, or something.

“IoT, Internet of Things, you’re selling such stuff, are you not? The placards clearly state so”, I continued, starting to feel that I should have looked closer before blurting out my nerdy bravado.

He didn’t laugh. He guffawed, bending over laughing like I had wound up the best joke Joker-man ever heard in his life.

“Nah, IOT stands for ‘I Own These’, just to make sure my precious lot doesn’t get pilfered, lest the perpetrator is ready for the wrath of Smiley Ted”, he summarily declared, emphatically glaring ominously for effect.

Thank you, Ted, now we have ‘I Own This’ along with ‘Internet of Things’.

What other interpretations, pray?


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